Love Rehab: Chapter 1 – The Beginning

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n. One who has a conformed habit, as the overuse of drugs.

1. Cause addiction in

2. Devote or give (oneself)

Ya know…. this killin’ ya self shit ain’t no joke. I think a person deals with more personal conflict trying to do themselves in, than they do when life is good and they believe everything is okay.

Nevertheless, I’m either gone down this whole fuckin’ bottle of Zoloft or I’m gone take the painful way out and slit my fuckin’ wrists.

I mean… it .ain’t like I got shit to live for no way. After constantly getting shitted on by a nigga, 4 miscarriages, 6 different STD’s, and countless of ass whoopings, I ain’t got shit to lose. No job, no personal money, a few friends, and barely any family, I feel that killing myself would be the best thing for me right now.

I’m sick of the crying, the internal and external pain, and I’m tired of feeling alone in this world. Only one person matters, but shit my dumb ass manged to fuck that up too. The one person who truly loved me and I screw it up by not being able to trust, not being able to love….. At this point, I really believe that I’m a waste of space and the world be so much better without me…

BANG! BANG! BANG! “DESIRAE!!!!! OPEN THIS DOOR MAN! I’M NOT GONNA LET YOU DO THIS!” BANG! BANG! BANG! came the loud knocks and screams from Dre.  After the last time we saw each other, he specifically said he didn’t want shit to do with me. And now he’s here? Ugh.

One pill… Two pills… 3 pills…..4….

The bangs and screams continue and I continue to swallow the pills.

Suddenly, my head begins to feel woozy and I curl up into a ball on the cold bathroom floor, seeing my horrible life flash before my eyes… I oddly felt at peace, knowing it would all be over soon…

The bangs continue. “DESIRAE! ” Dre continued to scream.

But it’s too late now…. I take my last breath, and realize that it’s all over….

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