This post is long overdue, but I will start it by saying that it stemmed over built up anger about a situation that happened between a young man and woman back in Chicago.
As the story goes, a young man was walking down the street and two women in a car offered to give him a ride. He obliged, and the young woman then pulls out a gun, places it to his head, and forces him to the back seat of the car. Once in the back seat, the woman then forces the young man to have sex with her. She also robs him of $200, his credit card, and his iPhone.
Now if this crime had happened to a woman, there would probably a public outcry, maybe some victim blaming, etc.
But because this happened to a 33-year-old black MAN, I was appalled at how many people found this act to be hilarious.
Maybe I missed the joke, but I don’t find sexual assault funny. At ALL. Like not even a little bit.
And you know what, I feel so SORRY for that man, and it is very unfortunate that this sort of thing happened to him, because HE DID NOT DESERVE IT!
But you know what, I am so ANGRY at how phucked up this society is when it comes to men being victims of sexual assault.
I am angry that people take this situation so lightly. My Twitter, Instagram, and even Facebook feed made a mockery of this poor man.
I am angry that so many WOMEN were saying that women can’t rape men.
I am ANGRY that people were saying that this man isn’t a real man, because a real man likes sex.
I am ANGRY that people have deemed sexual abuse as something that ONLY happens to women.
I am ANGRY that the judge who saw this case, dismissed it, due to it not being “enough evidence”
I am ANGRY that there was so much victim blaming going on, saying that he shouldn’t have been out so late at night, shouldn’t have accepted a ride from a woman he didn’t know.
I am ANGRY that people are saying that IF he was aroused, then he must of WANTED this crime to happen.
I’m just angry dammit. And the foolery MUST stop.
For those of you who are not aware THIS is what sexual violence means:
“Any non-consentual conduct of a sexual nature”
For those of you who are not aware, THIS is what sexual consent means:
“Freely choosing to participate in an act without being forced or threatened, while being FULLY conscious and mentally capable of making an informed decision.”
So while yes, he CHOSE to get into a car with women he didn’t know, he did not CHOOSE to have a GUN HELD TO HIS HEAD, SEXUALITY ASSAULTED, AND ROBBED. HE DID NOT CHOOSE THAT! AND I WILL NOT LET YA’LL BLAME HIM.
This phucking rape culture that society perpetuates is sickening! Just because he is a MAN, he’s just supposed to like sex 24/7 automatically huh? Even at gun point right?
Since he’s a MAN, he’s supposed to be stronger than two women, and not let them punk him right?
Since he’s a MAN, he’s now seen as weak because he “LET” two women rape him, and steal his money and phone right?
So what ya’ll are telling me is that since he’s a MAN, it’s acceptable for him to get assaulted, but not a woman right?
Here’s some statistics:
- 1 in 33 men have experienced an attempted or completed rape.
- 1 in every 10 rape victims is male.
- 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before they turn age 18.
- Only 16% of all sexual are reported to the police.
You know why those numbers are so low? Because society forces these men to suffer in silence. They are forced to keep quiet about any illicit behavior that happens to them, or their masculinity will be tarnished. Once masculinity is tarnished, they are deemed unworthy or inferior, because they didn’t react like a MAN.
To see rape culture and gender violence constantly be reinforced is sickening.
If you are a young man reading this who’s a victim of sexual assault, please understand this:
IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT
YOU DO HAVE THE RIGHT TO CONSENT TO SEX, JUST LIKE ANY WOMAN DOES
YOU ARE NOT LESS OF A MAN BECAUSE YOU GOT ASSAULTED
PHUCK TRADITIONAL GENDER ROLES ANYWAY
PHUCK RAPE CULTURE
GENDER VIOLENCE IS WRONG WHETHER IT’S FROM THE SAME SEX OR OPPOSITE SEX
YOU DID NOT DESERVE THIS
And to any woman reading this, who thinks this whole entire thing is absurd, please know this:
IF THIS WAS YOUR BROTHER, SON, OR FATHER, ETC YOU WOULD NOT WANT THIS TO HAPPEN TO THEM
A MAN GETTING RAPED IS JUST NOT FUNNY
WOULD IT STILL BE FUNNY IF YOU WERE IN THEIR SHOES? PROBABLY NOT
STOP UNCONSCIOUSLY PERPETUATING MALE DOMINATION
AGAIN, IT’S JUST NOT ACCEPTABLE, NOR FUNNY
With that being said:
Respect the genders.
Stop sexual violence.
Because guess what? It happens to men too….