GABS – By Alex Stocky

YoGabbaGabba

Yo Gabba Yo Gabba Yo when will you realize your self worth?

Yo Gabba Yo Gabba Yo remember when we first met? One hug had my forehead in your overgrown chest.
Yo Gabba Yo Gabba Yo ever since that day I feel in love with a women I will never touch.
Yo Gabba Yo Gabba Yo ain’t you tired of the struggle? Where is your motivation yo I wanna get this money yo.
Yo Gabba Yo Gabba Yo Oh shit your past defines the person you are now.
Yo Gabba Yo Gabba Yo okay I get it now I asked those questions so is that proof that I care?
Yo Gabba Yo Gabba Yo funny how I am always answering back to you yet my questions remain in the air.
Yo Gabba Yo Gabba Yo you know I care for you like you were my only heir?
Yo Gabba Yo Gabba Yo remember the hotboxes inside the dragon?
Yo Gabba Yo Gabba Yo or are you still gazing at that high moon?
Yo Gabba Yo Gabba Yo what comes out of your voice box is god given ya know?
Yo Gabba Yo Gabba Yo you know they say you lose it of you don’t use it right?
Yo Gabba Yo Gabba Yo are you ready to lose me?
Yo Gabba Yo Gabba Yo because my grip has a slight slip now.
Yo Gabba Yo Gabba Yo the future is bright like Gamma rays you the new she hulk.
Yo Gabba Yo Gabba Yo Lil’ Hova you could easily takeover.
Yo Gabba Yo Gabba Yo this spaceship is spit-shined cleaned and ready to launch.
Yo Gabba Yo Gabba Yo engines are online and we are in for a long flight.
Yo Gabba Yo Gabba Yo there’s one seat left for you.
Just got to get in before the countdown expires. I would hate to look down and only be able to scream out “Yo Gabba Yo Gabba Yo.”

 

3 Female Artists Everyone Should Be Listening To

This is a list. There isn’t much to say about this list, except that these women are dope, and I feel that EVERYONE should know who they are, and check out their music. In the comments, feel free to add your own thoughts on who everyone should be listening to…. Enjoy!

#3 – Ashley Laschelle 

Ashley Laschelle

@AshleyLaschelle

Where She’s From: Chicago, IL

Why She’s Dope: Well, this woman is like a songbird on a dreary day. Not only does she have a beautiful voice, but she’s a beautiful person as well, and I even got the privilege to interview her over the summer. She’s also dope because she’s just so ambitious, and she always puts out quality work, and you can tell through her relentless work ethic.

My Favorite From Her : Recently, she has released a new single, and not only did I play it for the rest of the night when it landed in my email, but it also made me super thirsty for her upcoming album Letting Go, which is dropping soon. Until then PLEASE listen to I Choose Love 

#2 – Jayy Starr 

jayy-starr

@JayyStarr

Where’s She From: Los Angeles, California

Why She’s Dope: I found out about her almost a year ago from http://www.traprockarchives.com, a dope blog based out of Baltimore. When I first heard her song Dragonflies, I soon confirmed that she is a lyrical goddess, and my theory was proven over and over again with each song she put out.

My Favorite From Her: Recently, she has started doing #RewindFridays an installment of freestyles videos over classic beats done by legendary female MC’s. The one below is a cover of MC Lyte’s Poor Georgie, a song that I LOVE, and I think Jayy Starr is brilliant for even doing this!

#1 – Klevah

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@Lyrical_Myracle 

Where She’s From: Charleston, IL

Why She’s Dope: I first came across Klevah over the summer, in her Pretty Ninja video, and I’ve been enthralled ever since. Then, she dropped The W8, which is possibly the coldest mixtape I have ever heard. To put it simply, Klevah slays. And I refuse to argue about that

My Favorite From Her: It’s hard to pick a fave from Klevah, because I legit like everything. But her visual for BiPolar is definitely something worth listening to and watching.

Now that this list is complete, I wanna know your thoughts! Either tweet me @TeamKweenK or comment below!

THEY SAY…

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They say you’re not supposed to play with fire, but what if I like the burn?
What if I like the warmth the fire brings, even though its flame can be put out just as quickly as it was lit?

They say don’t trust…
But what if I like holding another person accountable for not hurting me, not lying to me, and just being a good person?
What if I like seeing them work hard to gain my trust, and work 3x as harder just to get it back if it’s been lost?

They say don’t love…
But what if I like the feelings that love brings?
The sweet gestures, the earnest words, the long kisses?
What if I like the connection between me and another human being, not knowing why we really love each other, but just knowing that deep down in our cores we do…

Why you gotta have a reason to love somebody anyways?! Why can’t it just be?

They say don’t forgive….
But what if I don’t like being angry, what if I don’t like being bitter? What if I wanna argue bad with you one day, and then make up with you the next like nothing ever happened?
What if I don’t like holding grudges? What if I don’t want people or situations having control over my life simply because I’m still mad?

Why is loving someone so easy, but forgiving them so hard?

They say a lot of things… But phuck what they have to say… I’m doing what I want.

It Happens To Men Too…

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This post is long overdue, but I will start it by saying that it stemmed over built up anger about a situation that happened between a young man and woman back in Chicago.

As the story goes, a young man was walking down the street and two women in a car offered to give him a ride. He obliged, and the young woman then pulls out a gun, places it to his head, and forces him to the back seat of the car. Once in the back seat, the woman then forces the young man to have sex with her. She also robs him of $200, his credit card, and his iPhone.

Now if this crime had happened to a woman, there would probably a public outcry, maybe some victim blaming, etc.

But because this happened to a 33-year-old black MAN, I was appalled at how many people found this act to be hilarious.

Maybe I missed the joke, but I don’t find sexual assault funny. At ALL. Like not even a little bit.

And you know what, I feel so SORRY for that man, and it is very unfortunate that this sort of thing happened to him, because HE DID NOT DESERVE IT!

But you know what, I am so ANGRY at how phucked up this society is when it comes to men being victims of sexual assault.

I am angry that people take this situation so lightly. My Twitter, Instagram, and even Facebook feed made a mockery of this poor man.

I am angry that so many WOMEN were saying that women can’t rape men.

I am ANGRY that people were saying that this man isn’t a real man, because a real man likes sex.

I am ANGRY that people have deemed sexual abuse as something that ONLY happens to women.

I am ANGRY that the judge who saw this case, dismissed it, due to it not being “enough evidence”

I am ANGRY that there was so much victim blaming going on, saying that he shouldn’t have been out so late at night, shouldn’t have accepted a ride from a woman he didn’t know.

I am ANGRY that people are saying that IF he was aroused, then he must of WANTED this crime to happen.

I’m just angry dammit. And the foolery MUST stop.

For those of you who are not aware THIS is what sexual violence means:

“Any non-consentual conduct of a sexual nature”

For those of you who are not aware, THIS is what sexual consent means:

“Freely choosing to participate in an act without being forced or threatened, while being FULLY conscious and mentally capable of making an informed decision.”

So while yes, he CHOSE to get into a car with women he didn’t know, he did not CHOOSE to have a GUN HELD TO HIS HEAD, SEXUALITY ASSAULTED, AND ROBBED. HE DID NOT CHOOSE THAT! AND I WILL NOT LET YA’LL BLAME HIM.

This phucking rape culture that society perpetuates is sickening! Just because he is a MAN, he’s just supposed to like sex 24/7 automatically huh? Even at gun point right?

Since he’s a MAN, he’s supposed to be stronger than two women, and not let them punk him right?

Since he’s a MAN, he’s now seen as weak because he “LET” two women rape him, and steal his money and phone right?

So what ya’ll are telling me is that since he’s a MAN, it’s acceptable for him to get assaulted, but not a woman right?

Here’s some statistics:

  • 1 in 33 men have experienced an attempted or completed rape.
  • 1 in every 10 rape victims is male.
  • 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before they turn age 18.
  • Only 16% of all sexual are reported to the police.

You know why those numbers are so low? Because society forces these men to suffer in silence. They are forced to keep quiet about any illicit behavior that happens to them, or their masculinity will be tarnished. Once masculinity is tarnished, they are deemed unworthy or inferior, because they didn’t react like a MAN.

To see rape culture and gender violence constantly be reinforced is sickening.

If you are a young man reading this who’s a victim of sexual assault, please understand this:

IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT

YOU DO HAVE THE RIGHT TO CONSENT TO SEX, JUST LIKE ANY WOMAN DOES

YOU ARE NOT LESS OF A MAN BECAUSE YOU GOT ASSAULTED

PHUCK TRADITIONAL GENDER ROLES ANYWAY

PHUCK RAPE CULTURE

GENDER VIOLENCE IS WRONG WHETHER IT’S FROM THE SAME SEX OR OPPOSITE SEX

YOU DID NOT DESERVE THIS

And to any woman reading this, who thinks this whole entire thing is absurd, please know this:

IF THIS WAS YOUR BROTHER, SON, OR FATHER, ETC YOU WOULD NOT WANT THIS TO HAPPEN TO THEM

A MAN GETTING RAPED IS JUST NOT FUNNY

WOULD IT STILL BE FUNNY IF YOU WERE IN THEIR SHOES? PROBABLY NOT

STOP UNCONSCIOUSLY PERPETUATING MALE DOMINATION

AGAIN, IT’S JUST NOT ACCEPTABLE, NOR FUNNY

With that being said:

Respect the genders.

Stop sexual violence.

Because guess what? It happens to men too….

My Hair Story…

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So. I’ve recently decided to wear my actual hair in its natural state. Which shouldn’t be a big deal because its JUST HAIR, but when you’re a weave connoisseur and former creamy crack addict, then you realize.. Wearing your hair natural is more than a hair style, it’s apart of your true identity…

Growing Up….

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I’ve never had long hair… I was a cute, bald headed, kinky haired baby. I imagine as newborn, my hair was really soft. Since my mother never learned how to do hair, I always had a stylist to take care of my hair needs. Whether it was females in our church, or ladies that lived in our neighborhood, my mama made sure her babies hair was combed! I had everything from millions of small ponytails with matching balls and barrettes, to various styles with corn rows and braids as a child. Above is a picture of me at about 5-years-old, with crochets (pronounced crow-shays) in my head, done by a woman who lived across the street from my Grandparents home.  

I started going to the beauty shop at 3-years-old I believe.  Nothing much would get done, except a wash, a blow dry, and my ends would get clipped. I’d leave with silky ponytails after words. The first time I got addicted to the creamy crack though, was six-years-old. Yup, mama sent me to the beauty shop one day, and instructed the beautician to give me a “kiddy perm” so my hair could be straight. The thing is, I didn’t know or understand why my hair had to be straight. Didn’t have a say-so on what could be done with my hair at the time, and I probably didn’t care at the time either. So if mama wanted my hair straight, then so be it. It was done. My young scalp was based and the creamy crack was applied all over my head. I sat for 20 minutes at least for that ammonium thioglycolate to seep through. 

While writing this, I looked up what a perm actually is. The definition said that it is the use of chemicals to break down and reform the bonds of the hair. I guess this perm (the first of many) was a way to reform and break down my blackness…

 

Weave Connoisseur  

I always wanted long hair. And did everything I could to get it. Growing up, I was teased for the way my hair looked, even though it was permed for a long time, it just wasn’t long. It didn’t reach my shoulders, etc. My mother had long pretty hair. (though she ended up getting a short cut)  I wanted my hair like hers. But when it came to hair, I didn’t get her genes. I picked up my father’s genes in the hair department. I began to hate it, thinking something had to seriously wrong with me, because I could not seem to grow long hair. At 12 years old, in 7th grade, I got my first glue in weave. I grew to become attached to weave, loving the versatility, the look, the feel, and the attention I received from it. Weave gave my real hair a break, and allowed me to try so many different styles that I couldn’t do before. 

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Those pictures above are from ages 16-18, a time period where I wore weave the heaviest. I stopped getting cheap weave, and had my mom buying Indian Remi, and paying over $200 for a sew-in every three months. Weave is a convenient, yet expensive habit. And although I did transition back and forth from my real hair to weave, I always felt like a crackhead lookin’ for a fix whenever I didn’t have any long hair in my head. My real hair was so thin and chemically damaged from the perms I had gotten over the last 10+ years, and I hated it. Sure it was growing underneath the weave, but not at the rate I wanted it to. Plus, I was too lazy to take care of my own hair. I thought that as long as I felt attractive, then wearing weave was no big deal. To me, weave was not a protective style, but rather a way to have an identity that was socially acceptable.. So I conformed.

My Thoughts On Natural Hair 

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The thing is… I NEVER had a problem with women who chose to rock natural hair. I’ve always thought it was cute, just not on me. My father has locks, and I know lots of women who beautifully rock their natural do’s. I always said I would never do it though, simply because I never thought any natural hair style would look right on me. Whenever I took my hair down from sew-ins or braids, I noticed how thick, curly, and NAPPY my hair was. The picture above is of my hair post sew-in, and although I found myself cute enough to take a picture, I said to myself “I am NEVER walking outside the house like this!”

It is very sad to me how black girls are conditioned to believe that our natural hair symbolizes something bad. That we need straight hair to be loved, accepted, and respected. Who the phuck set these beauty standards? And why did most of our black mothers abide by them? Weave is cool, and I don’t shame anyone who chooses to wear it, but aside from convenience, what is our real reason for wearing it? As Malcolm X once said in a powerful speech, ‘Who taught us to hate ourselves?”  

I think most black people are afraid to admit that we live by white beauty standards, and that most of us will do any and everything to denounce our blackness. We as black people, continue to reinforce those unhealthy standards on our children by telling them things like “You need long hair to be beautiful” or “your hair is nappy” or “you don’t have good hair” or “you need weave”

The list goes on and on.

And although it’s just hair, and it should never be this serious, if you grew up like I have, then you will see that yeah, it is that serious. 

The Transition

At the end of 2012, I decided to get a short cut. I was tired of weave, and couldn’t afford the hair or sew-ins anymore.

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My short cut was pretty cute. But because I’m so indecisive about hair, I wanted to change styles again, so I did.

In March I played with curly hair which I LOVED

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Them throughout the summer of 2013, I played in weave. I really love this bob I had

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Also this summer, I tried a wig for the first time, that looked great on me!

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Then my many box braids and Senegalese twists styles….

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To now this. All natural. 100% me.

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I just took down my Senegalese/Marley twists about two days ago, and I honestly wanted to let my hair breathe. Of course, I think it’s no big deal, but people have been praising me for my latest hair choice. I have to admit, I came a pretty long way to being comfortable in my own skin. The girl who once said she would NEVER wear her natural hair out, is now proudly walking around her college campus, head held high. I’m happy. And though I may change my hair up again pretty soon, I can say that I am proud of my growth as an individual.. It takes a brave person to do what I’ve done, but then again.. it’s JUST hair! Haha.