Chicago Doesn’t Need ANYMORE Documentaries

“Were in the Windy City, Chicago, home of deep dish pizza, the Bears, and the highest murder rate in America” goes a nerdy, skinny ass white boy who’s apart of Noisey, the newest 8-part documentary done on Chicago.

It’s title? Welcome To Chiraq. (Excuse me while I roll my eyes on that one)

As I watched the first part of that documentary and also World Star Hip Hop’s one called The Field on the same subject matter, I couldn’t help but think I am T I R E D of these pointless ass documentaries being done on Chicago.

I call these documentaries pointless because of the subject matters.

In both documentaries, you see/hear:
Interviews done with the SAME rappers.
Interviews done with the SAME rappers managers.
The killing of Lil JoJo.
Interviews with the SAME producer(s)
The extras, who wave guns around in the camera.
Interviews with the cops, who are “really trying to crack down on gang violence.”
[As if gangs spearheaded by a single leader even exist anymore]

Oh, and the one or two after school program(s) that’s supposed to be the beacon of light in the whole documentary.

I’m not saying that these stories don’t deserve to get told… But why the SAME story?
Who exactly are these stories for?
And who exactly do these stories benefit?

To an out of towner, or a Chicagoan who didn’t know any better, you would probably think that Chicago is a violent city and if you’re violent enough, you’ll get a record deal from a label that doesn’t REALLY give a fuck about you, while still living in poverty.

That sounds like exploitment to me. I am infuriated that these “media outlets” [ and I use that phrase loosely, ] constantly choose to exploit my city for YouTube views. I’m infuriated that the people on these documentaries don’t care that they are getting exploited.

Or maybe they do, but instead of speaking out about that, they choose to glorify the same violence that plagues their lives, because they have been conditioned to believe that as long as people are watching them, it does not matter what is being shown.

It is no secret that I despise the term “ChiRaq….” People have tried to capitalize off this term with everything from apparel bearing the word to the most recent documentaries.

No one can give me a logical answer as to why it is so cool to be from a city that is known as a war zone.

I don’t find it humorous that some people find it hard to walk down the street without fearing for their lives, I don’t think it’s cool for people to have to bury their young friends and family when they’re young, I don’t like to see people living in poverty… I believe violence in Chicago happens because of not only poverty, but also because most people are suffering from post traumatic stress disorder.. If you witness or go through something traumatic, your life changes immediately.

However, us Chicagoans aren’t a fucking science experiment. Our day to day lives don’t deserve to be dissected and exploited for you outsider’s entertainment.

Lots of stories deserve to be told… But it must be done in the right way. These documentaries aren’t teaching us anything new. As diverse as Chicago is, it’s annoying that the same images are constantly being shown.

I’m from Chicago. The home of the Bulls, Blackhawks, and Bears. Deep dish pizza, hot summers and cold winters. The home of tall sky scrapers. Where Harold’s is the God of all chicken & AP Deli, Uncle Remus, Portillo’s & Italian Fiesta reign just as supreme. Where YouMedia was a Mecca for creative kids with something to say. The home of corrupt politicians and MAJOR political movements. The home of a dope train system that’s guaranteed to entertain you. The home of Milwaukee Ave, where hipster kids go and thrift shop.

If people aren’t willing to show that side of Chicago as well, then Chicago doesn’t NEED anymore documentaries!

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It’s Not You, It’s Me….

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M O N O G A MY.

In my simple definition, this is a word that means that when you are in a relationship with someone, you deal with them exclusively. No having sex with other people. No separate relationships. No situationships. No cheating. Just you, and your partner.

I’ve often heard people say that monogamy is something that is forced upon humans, that it’s not in our nature to be with just one person. To be quite honest, I don’t care to do enough research on that matter to prove if it’s true or not.

Right now I’m single. And it’s all my fault… I won’t go into details too much, but let’s just say I had a great guy, and I fucked it up.

And while he was willing to forgive me, I just couldn’t stay with him knowing I have issues that no one can fix except me. He deserves better. And better he shall get.. one day.

But anyways….

Let me start off by saying that in no shape, form, or fashion am I perfect. I think that when we get into relationships with people, we have unrealistic expectations of them. We don’t give people any room to make mistakes, or learn from them. We say we accept someone flaws and all, but do we really?

I say no. It’s hard for us as people to accept ourselves, let alone other people.

So while I’m no relationship guru, here are a series of questions I’ve been asking myself lately…

If you’re reading this, maybe you can ask yourself these questions too.

Are you real enough to admit that you’re not worthy of the person you’re with because you got issues that they can’t understand or fix?

I seem like a great person to be in a relationship with on the surface. I’m intelligent, positive, affectionate, supportive, blah blah blah. But I know the person I was with deserves so much better than what I could offer him. He deserves better because I battle some internal struggles that he *tried* to understand, but couldn’t. Truth be told, I am not sure how I want to be loved, because I never let anyone get that close enough… Maybe I did once in my past, but as of lately, nope.

Are you real enough to face yourself? To fix yourself so that the person you’re with can stop getting treated so wrong?

I’m trying to face myself.. Hence, why I am single. To be single is NOT the end of the world. But it does take some getting used to. We were together for a long time. I miss him. But facing my demons is much more important than any relationship.

Are you honest enough to tell the person who loves you the most that in reality, you don’t match any of their expectations?

If you’re looking for perfection or good… Don’t look this way. I have tried, and on the surface I’ve succeeded. But internally is another person… If you *know* you’re not being true to yourself, let the person who loves you know that… or don’t. It’s totally up to you.

Are you real enough to admit that you’re fucked up? Are you real enough to fix those things?

The bullshit line that therapists tell you is “the first step is admitting you have a problem.” What they should follow up with is “are you real enough to fix it?” because… who wants to dwell on their short comings all the time? I get tired of talking about how *horrible* of a person I am, I actually want to *do* something about it.

Are you real enough to eventually see them love someone else & someone love them better than you did because when you had them you didn’t know how?

The moving on stage. At this point, I’m not ready for it at all, I mean.. I am a jealous person ya know? But I know one day that time will come.  And I’m gonna have to suck it up and deal with it, because if I had known better, I would’ve done better.

Did you know that the answers to your issues cannot be found in other people? Did you know that it is not THEIR job to FIX you?

Fairy tales made us think that the one we love is supposed to save us from all the horrible things we’ve been through. It’s a cute idea, but in my opinion, that couldn’t be the furthest thing from the truth. Not gonna lie, I have expected people to save me.. but that’s unfair to them.

OTHER THINGS I’VE REALIZED..

The most flawed people want the most love. Truth be told, most of us flawed people wouldn’t know love if it smacked us in the face.

We want love, but we run from it, or we fuck it up when we get it. What’s wrong with us? What’s wrong with me?

Are you okay with knowing that YOU are possibly the reason why someone will be hesitant to love again?

“Everything that looks good isn’t good for you”

Are you real enough to admit that that saying applies to YOU?

All of that is probably sounding like a Drake album. But I do think that flawed people deserve to be loved, because everyone is flawed out here. However, if we can’t love ourselves or face ourselves then…. [Ya’ll fill in the blank]

Have you ever went through a break up?

What are your thoughts on monogamy?

Do you think your current or past partner(s) deserve better?

What did you think of this post?

Vent to my comments!

Male Privilege and The Levels of Victim Blaming

Though it’s a new year, I haven’t stopped ranting and raving about things I passionately care about on Twitter.

Yesterday, I saw a picture floating around my timeline featuring a girl who was well developed, and looked older than her age. The caption on the picture said “She hops into your bed and tells you that she’s 14, what do you do?”

I watched young men basically say that they would still go ahead and have sex with her, so I proceeded to tweet:

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Those tweets led me into getting an argument with an actual friend of mine. For privacy purposes, I blocked out his @ name.

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Basically, I got infuriated because I felt like the friend of mine was unknowingly victim blaming, because of his male privilege.

As a male, he benefits from this patriarchal society that treats woman like we are inhumane. I don’t expect every man to be a feminist, but I do need men to realize how much violence happens to women GLOBALLY, by MEN, simply because we are women…

To say things like “well it’s just as bad if you don’t say something” totally negates the fact that women are usually shamed into being silent about their sexual abuse. It’s placing unrealistic expectations on a woman being violated in the worst way.

To also say “Sex takes two” is absurd, because RAPE (whether it’s statutory or not) is N O T sex. Sex is an enjoyable act between two mutually consenting people.

And let me be the first to tell you, there is nothing enjoyable about getting raped.

The point is, there are levels to victim blaming, and I need my friend and other people to understand this. Should victims of sexual assault speak up more? Yes, if we were actually respected and taken seriously when doing so. But at the same time, no amount of speaking up takes away the feeling of feeling dirty, worthless, and endlessly tormented when such violence happens….

But that’s another story.

My friend said that “Older guys know better when it comes to having sex with younger girls”

I’m pretty sure they do.

But yet so many older men are having sex with younger girls anyway.

But as I said, it’s male privilege that has my friend and so many others like him thinking that way. When you are a male, it’s likely that you are not on the receiving end of sexual. It’s deeper than saying “Either you can tell or be silent.” It’s more than “both parties knowing that it’s wrong.”

It’s deeper than saying “underage girls have the right to say no.”

Of course they do. But what the fuck does saying no mean to a person who’s seeking power and control through a non mutual physical act?

Of course under-aged  girls have the right to say no… But then why are 44% of rape victims under the age of 18?

Exactly, nothing.

Also, please remember that assenting– that is, conforming or giving in to a sexual act by force or bribe is consensual either.

So when it comes to rape.. it’s impossible to “look at it from both sides.”

To conclude, I will say this… To you individuals who benefit from male privilege, instead of trying to look at violence against women “from both sides” why don’t you use your privilege to advocate for women’s rights? Maybe aid in campaigns to end sexual violence?

Do anything except participate in the different levels of victim blaming.

It’s the least you can do.