I’m pretty sure that most of us have seen the above picture before and if you’re anything like me, I’m sure it made you smile as well.
There is nothing better than having a group of like-minded individuals around you that bring out the best in you. I’ll admit that I haven’t always thought like this, but I’ve grown.
And through my growth, I’ve learned a myriad of timeless lessons including:
Everyone ain’t yo friend
Even as an adult, my mother’s words prove to be true. Some people aren’t your friends. Some people are associates, some people are in your life to teach you things, and some people mean you absolutely no good. Something that separates the real from the fake for me is that I look at your character. Then I look at how you treat your other friends, specifically what you say about them when they aren’t around. I also look at how you treat someone you are no longer friends with. Is their business suddenly all over social media once the friendship ends? Lastly, I look at whether or not you are secure in yourself, or are you insecure and negative? If you don’t pass those few tests, then you don’t get the opportunity to get called my friend.
Just because you know someone, doesn’t mean you can grow with them
Some people are truly in your life only for a season, meant to teach you things. Sometimes, we think we will be friends with people forever, not realizing that you can’t grow with everybody. However, I don’t look at not being able to grow with someone as a bad thing, I look at it as a life thing. There are a few friends of mine that I once had that I don’t speak too often simply because our lives are not on the same page anymore. No longer being on the same page with someone doesn’t mean that you dislike them, it just means that you weren’t meant to grow with them.
Maybe it’s YOU
Everyone loves to talk about how people aren’t trustworthy and are bad friends, but no one ever likes to put the mirror on themselves. If you have this mentality that women can’t be trusted and you are constantly cutting your friends off left and right, then maybe it’s you. I’m a firm believer in that you get back what you put out in the world, so while you’re busy pointing the finger at other people for being the reason why your friendships end, just remember that there are three pointing back at you.
Everyone isn’t out to get you
For a long time, I struggled with figuring out who my real friends were, and pushed a lot of people away. Then I realized that it isn’t healthy to isolate yourself, and if I didn’t try to have healthy relationships with other women, I wouldn’t be able to properly grow as a woman. One of the greatest things I’ve learned is that everyone isn’t out to get me, and that I could afford to be trustworthy with people again. I feel that once you open your heart, the possibility for positive friendships is endless.
REAL friends communicate
Sometimes, there will be drama. There will be disagreements and there will be arguments. But something that is very important to me in all types of relationships is communication. There will be no arguing over Twitter, I will not talk to other people about my issues with you, and I require the same behavior from those I call my friend. If we can’t communicate about major or minor things, then we have no business being friends.
As I grow further into womanhood, one thing will never change: I need other women and other women need me. We have to push each other to succeed, hold each other accountable for our actions, lift one another up when we are down, be a sister to one another when we have no one and most importantly, help each other grow into better women.
Vent to the comments:
1) How has being friends with other men or women grown you as a person?
2) What is something you’ve learned from your circle?
3) How do you keep your friendship(s) strong?
4) How do you and your friends handle conflict?
5) Have you ever had to cut off a toxic friend?