If you look at any piece of media, you will see countless of tv shows, think pieces and books written by “relationship experts” who tell women all day long about what we can do to keep a grown ass man. Our tasks include but are not limited to: cooking, cleaning, fucking him on demand and being softer, smaller, and quieter for a man that will
probably likely STILL cheat on you/leave you anyway in spite of you doing all that!
It’s comical because I myself and many people I know once adhered to those unrealistic standards of womanhood and losing ourselves in the process. Have ya’ll ever wondered why it ain’t no books, movies or tv shows out here telling men how to treat women?
Nope, of course not because they don’t exist lol.
Yet somehow, the responsibility of having a successful relationship and keeping a man is ALWAYS placed on us. When things go sour due to infidelity, women are taught to ALWAYS look at ourselves first instead of holding these men accountable.
If we are going to talk about “keeping a man” then the conversation needs to shift from what women should or should not do and more about how a relationship takes an equal amount of work. We need to talk about how everybody has choices and free will and how you simply cannot “keep” someone who doesn’t want to be “kept.”
If there is anything I want women to stop doing, it is for us to stop crouching and contorting and dimming our own light just to please these men.
A hard lesson to learn is that you can’t love someone into loving you.
You can try, but at the end of the day you may be left empty and when has it ever been cool to have your loyalty make you look foolish?
When a man wants you, you will know. You won’t have to conform yourself and perform magic tricks just to keep him around.
So sorry if you read this post in hopes that I would be giving out the keys to successful relationships.
The only secret to keeping a man is simply his desire to be kept.