Yall Can Keep The Struggle Love

Copy of Copy of Instagram Post – Untitled Design

Let me start this off by saying, I do not believe love is a fairytale, absent of difficult moments. 

I do believe that many of us have not been exposed to healthy and fruitful versions of love, only survival. 

I do believe that many of us don’t actually know what a healthy relationship looks like, because how can we be shown something that our predecessors have never known themselves? 

So cycles are repeated. It’s like the more you struggle with someone you love, the bigger your imaginary badge of honor. 

Why is that?

Why is emotional abuse, gas lighting, putting someone else’s needs above our own, and just toxic bullshit perpetuated as badges of honor? It’s like a game of seeing how long we can stay with each other and put each other through until either one of us finally settles down and acts right. 

In fact, it is a game, and one that I am frankly tired of. 

Y’all can keep the struggle love. 

When partnering with someone, it won’t be absent of struggle. In any partnership, there will be compromises that have to be made and adjustments for the betterment of the relationship. 

But a lot of shit that gets promoted is just unnecessary and simply NOT normal. 

For example, look at this bullshit here. 

“You know how much shit he put her thru?” makes my skin crawl. Not to mention the whole high speed chase thing. This isn’t normal. High speed chases with your baby daddy shouldn’t be joked about or congratulated. You’re not going out sad for leaving someone who doesn’t treat you right. What’s sad is someone thinking that behavior is humorous and that someone’s child will grow up thinking that not only is that behavior normal but they’ll possibly grow up emulating it too. 

Y’all can keep the struggle love. It literally doesn’t appeal to me. For some it might (and I literally think it’s because you haven’t been shown anything different) but really, if struggle love is all that you are used to then at some point you must re-evaluate. 

Do you really want to be stressed out all the time?

Do you really want to jump through hoops just to prove your worthiness to someone?

Do you really want to endure any type of emotional, mental or even physical abuse just to say you have someone?

Do you want to be someone who is constantly embarrassed by the actions of your partner, just to say you have someone? 

Love is a gamble and while it won’t always feel like sunshine and rainbows, but it also shouldn’t be mentally or emotionally draining either. 

Y’all can keep the struggle love.

Life is short. Do you want to put yourself in an early grave by loving someone?

Y’all can keep the struggle love.

I gotta act mentally unstable just to prove my worthiness to you?

Y’all want someone to be your peace but you can’t even keep the peace?????

I’m good luv, enjoy!

Y’all can keep the struggle love. 

There’s no set definition of what a healthy relationship is but I will say that I agree with what this tweeter said: 

None of the things she said contributes to the toxic ideation of struggle love. Of course you can provide those things to yourself, but if you choose to be partnered with someone then choose peace, safety, emotional and mental security too. 

To conclude, let me reiterate this: Love is not a fairytale, absent of difficult moments. But it surely isn’t one full of struggle, constantly disrupting your peace either.

If you have a partner or find yourself being someone who chooses struggle love, do yourself a favor: Keep it! 


What do you think a healthy relationship consists of?

Why do you think how much pain someone endures in a relationship is treated like a badge of honor?

How do we teach people not to idolize struggle love? 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s