Is There Such Thing As A “Positive” Situationship?

The last time I wrote about situationships, I can honestly say that I was projecting my own feelings and not taking my own advice. Lol, what a comedy show!

Almost 3 years later, I can say that my feelings towards situationships has NOT changed, yet I now understand that everyone has different dating experiences, loves differently, and has different wants, needs, and expectations from people they choose to deal with.

Which got me to pondering: Everyone talks about situationships in such a negative matter and are usually traumatized by them (it’s me, I’m the traumatized one) but, has anyone ever had a positive situationship experience?

My Twitter followers gave me some pretty interesting answers:

As ya’ll can see, a lot of the same themes came up in order to make a situationship work: Honesty, transparency, and BOUNDARIES.

And ya know what? Kudos to those people and their positive experiences! Some of them said they are still really great friends with their “ex” (can you even call someone you used to be in a situationship with your ex?) and some just ended things gracefully when they found someone that they could see themselves being committed to.

I think situationships get such a bad rep because normally they are between two people who aren’t on the same page. In my experience, someone always catches feelings and may even want more because sex is a HIGH energy exchange and building bonds is very natural when you spend copious amounts of time with someone that’s consistent.

But somehow, the people who responded to me on Twitter made it work. So kudos to them!

As for me, ya girl tho….. Situationships AIN’T for me. I’m in a space in my life where I am trying to find wait on “my person” and I want something a bit more stable and committed. Like nigga, I wanna be your WOMAN, not somebody you just hella cool with and fuck on from time to time cuz “we don’t want nothing serious.” Those days are long behind me and to be honest, I was never with the shits lol. I settled for it, but that is another story for another day!

Needless to say, I am aware that dating and having sex with someone means different things for different people and I’m not mad at ya’ll!

At the end of the day, I just want us all to be in situations that make sense to us and redefine what dating looks and feels like– cuz the experiences should not, and do not have to be toxic all the time.

With that being said, as long as you not settling, I don’t care what you do lol.

Cheers to love and good sex, reciprocated energy and maturity in 2020!


Talk to me though:

Have you ever had a positive experience being in a situationship?

If so, what did it teach you about yourself? How long did it last?

Would you do it again if given the chance? Why or why not?

What beliefs did you have about romantic relationships in the past that you no longer hold right now?

Did your situationship turn into something more serious, or did ya’ll part ways when the spark left?

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  1. Situation ships are weird af. But they work if you’re honest with yourself. I was in a situationship with someone, when I really wasn’t supposed to be. My current bf and I were going thru a “break” kinda but it wasn’t a break. In the midst of it I started dealing with a guy I did some design work for, and we legit hit it off, he was going thru kinda the same thing with his now bm and we were kinda just feeding off each other’s “my life is kinda fucked up” vibes at the moment. Lmfao toxic af.

    But then something in my brain clicked and I was like, I don’t like this. The intimacy was making me fall in love and I was too g for that so I had to place boundaries. Especially after I told him how I felt about him and he kinda brushed it off.
    All that to say we’re close af now. That’s my dawg, and we have a podcast network we’re building. And it’s going great.

    Glad I turnt my inner G up tho.
    At the end of the day. Lol

    No more “situationships” for me.

  2. Thanks for your response! It’s really refreshing to get a different perspective on that type of thing. Honestly, my first situationship was extremely positive because of the communication that we practiced. She attended the University of Alabama and we just believed in keeping emotional boundaries intact. After that ended 5 months later, I’ve had maybe 2 more short-term ones and they were slightly different, but all were peaceful.

    I learned that I really appreciate my space a lot more than I thought, and that I’m not as clingy as I used to be. At this point in my life, I have a child, so I wouldn’t feel comfortable practicing a situationship at this point.

    The one main belief about relationships that I no longer have is that I have to be stressed out in order to see my loved one happy. I thoroughly enjoyed this post and I’m looking forward to many more amazing posts from you!

    Also, I LOVE that last line 😆😅 Enjoy your weekend, Ms. Smith!

  3. Situationships were cool for me yrs ago when i had a cold heart and didnt want to commit myself. My regrets are from the 1 or 2 guys who feelings i hurt because they wanted more from me and i wasnt in a place to give it.

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