Routine, Interrupted

At first, this was going to be a post where I would complain about how hard working from home is and how much I hate it. But then I thought about it: I’m blessed to be able to work from home, have decent wifi, and still get paid from both my jobs while the country figures Miss Rona out.

Home is my sanctuary and while I detest bringing work home, it will have to do for now.

So far, I have been in shock about how fast everything has changed. When March started, I would have never guessed that my city would be on lockdown and so many people I know and love would be abruptly put out of work. I’ve been having a hard time processing this shift — particularly because I was used to a certain routine, my birthday plans had to be altered, and then boom: the world is now collectively holding our breath, waiting to exhale as soon as the coast is clear.

Nonetheless, I can’t even really complain. I have way more time to myself than I could’ve imagined and after weeks of not doing shit, I finally got back productive and knocked a few goals out.

As we enter into a new month and 30 more days of lockdown, I wish I could tell you that I’m feeling super optimistic. I’m not exactly feeling morbid about it either but as I said, I’m holding my breath. Waiting to exhale when the coast is clear.

Given the circumstances, I don’t think things will ever get back to “normal.” Instead, a new normal will be created. So many routines have been interrupted and by this time, maybe most of us have adjusted to whatever our new normals are.

Prior to getting put on punishment, it wasn’t much that I took for granted but it’s easy to get caught up in the flow of life that we are privileged to forget how abruptly things can change. Literally overnight. I miss my ability to move as freely as I wanted to without thinking if I was potentially putting someone in harms way. I miss hugging my friends and family and visiting them whenever our scheduled permitted. And I miss OUTSIDE! I’m an ambiverted person, plus my mother’s only child so being at home by myself doesn’t bother me too much. In the same breathe, I am also a socialite and dammit do I miss being outside, looking good and living better. I am saddened to see my friends and family members who work “non-essential” jobs be out of work. I miss going to get my damn hair done!

I’m also sad about my “essential job” friends be ran raggedy taking care of everyone else. I’m sad that for those who have been diagnosed with Miss Rona feel completely helpless while they let their bodies fight this off because of course we not rich enough to get it there’s no cure yet.

I’m sad about the former students I used to serve, who have endured so much for being out of school this school year. It’s a lot of things that suck to me right now and I hate that healthcare isn’t accessible to all. I hate the panic. The financial and emotional strain. The deaths. All of this.

In a perfect world, I wish things would go back to normal…. but that normal probably won’t exist anymore after this.

However, there have been some positives to come outta this.

The DJ’s going live on Instagram and Facebook last week really brightened a lot of our spirits.
The song writer and producer battles.
The comedy skits.
The memes and gifs.
The increased and intentional communication between friends and family due to technology.
The virtual happy hours.
The time to journal, meditate, and work out from home.

It’s so much increased positivity and peace, even in the midst of all this chaos.

While I don’t desire for my connections to people and experiences to be purely digital, to live in an age where technology is so advanced AND the privilege of having access to it makes self-isolation a lil bit better.

Praying that this all ends soon. In the meantime, how ya’ll been doing?

What’s your new normal? Is it better than your old routine?

Do you think once outside opens back up, it will be hard for people to adjust?

Talk to me!

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  1. My regular routine hasnt been the same since the new year hit. Leaving a job and being without work but having a nice savings was copacetic for the time being. The job market was open and i was able to go out whenever i wanted to and stay up late.
    Once the virus hit America soil at an accelerated pace and the world as we knew it stopped, i found it hard to stay home. I also grew up an only child, so i know how to make do with my alone time. However, being told where you can and cannot go, what time and having to be extra extra cautious about literally the air you are breathing, is mind bottling. I’ve had to ante up on meditation and praying even more. Be purposeful with my exercise routine and the time i spend with the ppl i love.
    This down time has brought me closer to God, myself, my friends, family & a person of interest. It’s very interesting how God uses what we view as a hard time to show us ourselves and others true personalities! Thats what im thankful for the most, seeing people’s REAL.
    Once outside does open back up, I will never be as comfortable as i was before about public spaces and objects we all touch on a daily basis! I want to book a flight ASAP but that sounds all good and fine until outside opens back up and im looking at everybody like are you contagious?! Is it really safe?! So one day at a time

    1. Ohhhh I feel you completely on the flights! I have one booked for June and I’m gonna book another for July. I don’t want to live in fear but in wisdom. I’m praying we can go outside soon. I’m hopeful. May is gonna be a new beginning for so many great things.

  2. So much of what you said resonates with me. Girl when I tell you I was goin’ through it, I was goin THRU. I’ve been SO pissed at how this crisis is being handled in the US and how it is affecting the high school seniors that I work with. Though I feel blessed because I am among the privileged that get to work from home, I am equally anxious and upset at all of the uncertainty.

    I share in the exact same joys that you mentioned. After giving myself a month of nothingness/relaxation/depression, drinking whole ass bottles of wine every other day, I’ve finally put one foot in front of the other around some intentions I set for myself. I have also told myself that if I hit another “wall” and can’t be “productive”, that’s ok too.

    SN: Just bought your book! So proud of you, girl. Fuck it up!!

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