We Are Not OK

So on my way to work this morning, I tweeted this:

"It is literally exhausting being Black at a PWI right now. To navigate these classrooms day by day surrounded by those who just don't understand why we are upset, angry and feeling hopeless.. to have to comfort fellow classmates, colleagues and friends from having mental breakdowns cuz they are just so tired of the bs. 

It's so easy for other folks to tell us to oh turn off the tv, get off social media, choose not to see color, etc.

But we can't ignore it.

How can we ignore constant images and videos of our people getting senselessly murdered for simply existing?  How are we supposed to sleep peacefully at nigh knowing that at ANY given moment one of us or one of our friends/fam could be next?

We don't HAVE the PRIVILEGE of ignoring this shit. So fuck you if you don't get it.

Ya'll tell us all lives matter but what the hell are you doing on behalf of everybody else?

And then to navigate this campus and these work spaces and having to hear people try to justify these murders...

That's the sickest part.

And then ya'll wanna bring it up in casual conversation, asking me what I think. Watching me to see if Imma explode. But of course I have to hold my composure cuz I'm either at work or in class and I can't break down or be angry in public.

But they just go back to smiling and laughing and ignoring stuff. I guess that's how it is when you know your life matters." - @KiaSmithWrites

I'm not gone lie to ya'll. I am all out of answers. In some instances, I feel completely hopeless. To see people who look like me death's constantly get regurgitated on my timelines is enough to make me go insane. It's like no matter what we do or say, if a cop wants to kill us, he or she will and to make matters WORSE, absolutely NOTHING will happen to them... Except paid leave. Protection from society. And the best lawyers that money can buy to get them off error free.

Meanwhile, the rest of us black folks are just in SHAMBLES, trying to keep our composure around people who don't even get it. And its not that we are seeking sympathy but I just wish people would stop telling us that we are making a big deal out of nothing and then give us reasons why all these men, women and children basically deserved to die.

That's insulting!

It's infuriating!

And quite frankly,

It's bullshit.

I'm not sure why the world hates us. I'm not sure what type of sick ass satisfaction the world gets from killing us. We done marched, fought back, protested and did everything in the book to try and stop this and its like nothing is working.

We can't say that the system is broken, its actually working exactly like it was intended to.

I'm not okay ya'll. We aren't okay. I commend us for trying to be strong and resilient like we've always been, but something truly has to give.

May you all practice self care and unplug if necessary,

I'm out.