Should I Stop Writing?

Don't be alarmed. I'm not actually going to stop writing.

But I won't sit up here and lie to you and say that the thought has never crossed my mind and that sometimes I feel insecure about my writing.

I'll even be honest enough with you and tell you that at this very moment as I'm typing this, I am cringing because I can't believe that I let myself get suckered into thinking that I need social media popularity to validate my gift as a writer.

I know ya'll are wondering what the hell I'm talking about so here it goes:

Ever since I dropped my post How Do I Get My Magic Back? and it went a little viral, it has been hard for me to write anything that can top that. This post led to so many shares, so many texts and emails from people that I knew and didn't know, all expressing their feelings about me being so transparent. Never have I ever wrote something like that and received so much attention for it.

A couple weeks later I dropped another post, but it wasn't as popular (or so it seems) like the previous one. January rolled around and I realized that I was 5 years in the blog game and so I had to plan something for that. Along came a photo shoot, an official logo and the beginning stages of my t-shirt line.

Recently I dropped a post and to my surprise, it barely received any recognition on social media like I hoped. So letting my pessimistic side take over, I began to wonder was it something that I was doing wrong? I started thinking of different marketing strategies, checking my page stats, looking at my Twitter impressions, revamping my Facebook like page here and there. I even thought about purposely writing more transparent stuff but that didn't feel genuine and I didn't want my lived experiences to be a corny ass marketing tool. I basically over-thunk myself into a frenzy, thus questioning should I stop writing since it seemed that no one was paying attention anyway.

It was hard for me to even type that sentence because as someone who swears up and down that I write to save my own damn life, I know it's foolish to think that the impact my words have on people don't even matter.

And then I began to wonder am I narcissistic for wanting people to fuck with my writing?

Is going viral every time I write something really that deep?

As I've been telling my therapist lately, my pessimistic and optimistic side are constantly at war with each other and some days I really don't know who to listen to.

Then today, my logical side finally kicked in and gave myself a pep talk of some sorts.

No matter what type of creative person you are, maybe you can use this too.

It's okay to feel insecure sometimes.

When your job relies on a social media presence or you simply are keeping up with the times and using technology to keep up with people, it's quite common to feel a lil bit of envy. I look at other successful bloggers and writers and wish that I was them sometimes but the thing is, I have no idea what type of work or sacrifices they've had to make to go into their brand. I would love to have their awards and recognition but truth is, I have a lot more hard work to do before I get on their level.

That being said, I have to be confident in knowing that I am impacting who I am SUPPOSED to impact, even when I can't see it.

You never know who is watching. More often than not, especially on social media, people are silent supporters watching your every move.

Don't try to be the next version of nobody, just strive to be a better you each day.

Social media will lead us to believe that we want these people's lives. Truth is, we don't. If you can't handle your own good and bad then how can you handle someone else's. Just keep working on your craft. It's cool to admire people and even ask them what steps did they take to get there, but at the end of the day, you are your own unique person.

And lastly...

Sometimes you can't measure it, but you must keep the faith and press forward knowing that someone, somewhere needed your words when they didn't have their own.

Every post ain't gone go viral. You may get only one retweet on Twitter. People may scroll past your shit on Snapchat. But none of that matters. As long as you (I) keep writing, keep practicing and keep trying... then that's all that matters. Even if only ONE person is impacted by what you have to say, then you've done your job.

Popularity fades but authenticity will last forever.

XOXOXO,

Kia ♥♥♥♥