The Year of No

I wouldn't exactly call myself a people pleaser, but I have bent my boundaries one too many times than I'm comfortable with for people that I love, care for or simply even like. 

Alright fuck it, I'm a people pleaser. And it's hard for me to say no.

After getting pissed off by someone I hold near and dear to my heart, I decided to do some self-reflecting. I had to question some things:

• Why am I afraid of saying no?
• Why do I like to bend my boundaries?
• What approval am I seeking and WHY?
• When will this madness end?

Then I was like fuck it. 2018 is going to be my year of NO.  This post has nothing to do with the person who pissed me off (though I do thank them for inspiring this tweet that led to this blog post) but more so in waking up and realizing that if I want continued peace (cuz I've been feeling hella peaceful lately) then I have to stop playing around and say NO more.

So let's get to it.

No, You Ain't Gone Drain Me

This year, and every year after this, I refuse to let toxicity in my life. If you are someone I love and care about, you can't be around me if you are causing me pain or putting more on me emotionally than I can bear.I'm not having the same arguments anymore, I refuse to let life get sucked out of me. I'm NOT going through the same drama. In the year's prior, I let too much slide. That's dead now. Absolutely no more draining me.

No, You Ain't Gone Mistreat Me

How can you claim to care about me yet in the same instance treat me bogus? Before you attach yourself to me, be honest and ask yourself what are your intentions with me? I'm not perfect at all but I am still worthy of being treated right. If you have ever mistreated me, ask yourself would YOU like if I treated YOU how YOU treat me? Family, friend or foe, there will be NO mistreatment of Miss Smith in 2018 and beyond.

No, I'm not fucking with you if our goals and visions don't align

I'll start with this: If someone has brought my name up to work with, then I am honored, grateful and extremely flattered to be considered.

However....

If we have NO type of relationship, then why on earth would I spend my time, my energy, my ideas, or exchange my labor for free? Or more importantly, when our goals and visions don't even align? When what you have going on and what I have going on don't even relate?

I can fuck with what you're doing without having to be directly involved. Support from a distance is a real thing.

No, You Won't Make Me Feel Bad For Saying No

As a former   current  people pleaser, I hate to tell people no. But shit, if I want to keep the peace then that's what I'm going to have to start doing. If I had to choose between my peace and pleasing others, I'll take my peace for 500 Alex! It starts small. No, I don't wanna come out. No, I can't spend money on that. Just no. And I will stop feeling bad every time I can't do something or don't want to do something. The answer is no. Period.

Moral of the story... NO is a complete ass sentence. Respect it.

New year, New boundaries!

What are some things you're saying no to this year?