The Fear of Winning

Dear you reading this,

Yes, you.

Are you feeling stagnant?

Hate your current job?

Find yourself complaining more than usual?

If you answered yes to anything above, the reason you are feeling what you're feeling could be for one or two reasons: 1) You are miserable because you are not walking in your purpose and 2) You have a fear of winning."But of course I want to win Kia, wtf are you talking about?" you indignantly thought or said to yourself. You probably rolled your eyes too.But look, I don't believe you.In the age of social media, looking like you are winning or the idea of winning is far more appealing than the process you have to go through to achieve those wins.While working towards a win, somewhere along the line you realized "Oh shit. This is gonna take more work than I bargained for." It is often said that to whom much is given, much is required. I think that's in the Bible somewhere.I won't harshly judge you because I've been in this exact same space before. Hell, on some days I am still in it. I have been so afraid of my own greatness that I did everything I could to avoid walking in my purpose. Downplaying myself and everything, it was a sad sight to see.The fear of winning doesn't necessarily come from you doubting yourself. It actually comes from you believing in yourself so much that you now realize that you gotta move differently. You might have to cut some toxic people and things off, you gotta make a few sacrifices to get what you want.Most importantly, you have to undergo a process that is less than glamorous and will more than likely take a toll on you.

But just because it takes a lot of work to win doesn't mean that you are incapable of winning.

If it was easy, would it still be worth it to you?

My 2018 mantra is to believe in myself no matter what and do the shit that scares me because I will either WIN or I will LEARN.

Repeating that mantra and literally using my fear to propel me forward is what is helping me be a little less scared of winning. Other things that help me are these 3 keys:

1. The energy you use to complain about your current situation is energy that could be used in focusing how to win.

You can't win without working, I don't care what social media tells you. Work with purpose, work diligently, work with vigor and fearlessness. Just don't complain (at least not too much) because once those wins start coming in, remember that this is what you wanted.

2. It is okay to say no to things that don't align with your purpose

We were not put on this earth to simply work a job just to survive, pay bills, and die. Cover your ass of course, but also find things that will help you along your journey even if it is just temporary. This may be my extreme optimism kicking in, but find a way to make every situation work and win for you. And if it does not, say no to it and walk away.

3. You deserve to win

Are you afraid to win because a part of you feels like you don't deserve it? I struggle with this too. But guess what, you do deserve to win. When you have gifts and talents, you should share them with the world. We have to learn to give ourselves more grace. To clap for ourselves. To continue to work hard and revel in our victories and success. Like I tell one of my homegirls all the time, "You deserve all the good things."

You deserve all the good things, pal.

You deserve all the good things.

It won't be easy of course, but I can guarantee that it will be worth it.

The wins are always worth it.

 Have you ever been scared of winning before?How do you combat the fear?